Things My Parents Do That Drive Me Crazy
Don’t get me wrong; I love my parents. It’s just that — they haven’t kept up with the times. I know it’s hard. In the last ten years, tech has gone on a terror.
So, I’m 21 years old, and I know I don’t know everything, but I wish my parents would listen to me sometimes. I could help them make their life so much easier. It’s 2030, not 2010, and it’s time my parents figured that out.
For example, mom and dad both still have “smart” phones. And they communicate with each other and with friends by text. I’m not kidding. They’re proud of the dexterity of their thumbs and will try to show me images and emojis.
I’ve tried to talk to them about Neurolinks, but I get, “Big brothers not goin’ in my head!” from my salty dad. And “I don’t see how it could be safe.” from mom being extra.
I mean, don’t they understand that Neurolinks have been on the market for almost five years? Duh, more than 30 billion people have them. When Elon Musk had his implanted live on TikTok, the world went crazy. Linking is lit! It would be so much easier if I could link to my parents, but no. I have to call them. And while I’m at it, they still have a landline. I’m not kidding. A landline!
They use paper money, well, at least they try to. It’s become more and more difficult to find places that take cash. Why should they?
I don’t want to be spilling the tea, but while I’m talking about paper, they have paper books, magazines, and maps.
Dad even tried to get paper boarding passes for their anniversary trip to Hawaii. He couldn’t believe that paper airline “tickets” were a thing of the past.
Dad retired, but he does a little side work, and guess what he has? A paper business card. Yep.
I shouldn’t have started, but since I’m already here. Keys, they have keys. They have keys for the house and metal keys for their car. Two of the reasons they haven’t replaced their 2022 Ford Bronco are that it has keys and a manual transmission. Do you even know what a stick shift is?
And they like to shop. Not online but in person. They go to an old-time market to shop for groceries because they need to see what they’re buying. Okay then.
Mom and dad have stacks of CDs and DVDs. They still have players, and they still use them! I couldn’t make this up.
They have a handheld remote control for their non-holographic TV. Get this, they use an alarm clock and have earbuds with cords. Cords.
And that’s not all. Mom and dad do some banking online, but they continue to send paper checks by snail mail, and they have a printer. They download and print reports, stories, and photos.
It shook them to the core when newspapers discontinued printed copies. I mean, what were they supposed to do Sunday morning? Geez, Dad-ah.
Anyway, I love my parents and will do anything they ask — almost. I will call them, watch DVDs, and listen to CDs with them, I’ll even go shopping with mom, but I absolutely will not text them. I mean, don’t you have to draw the line somewhere?
This piece came to me when I was thinking about how archaic the act of manual texting is. Mark my words; in only a few years texting by using your thumbs will be looked at like we view rotary dialing today. Do you know what a rotary dial is?